My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
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I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
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WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Well I just put wine in my tea
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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