therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize