he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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