I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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