just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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