Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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