i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
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we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
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Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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