my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
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And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
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Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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