i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
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Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
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After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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