I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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