I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
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