my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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