brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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