Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
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