tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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