This is not my ceiling
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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