dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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