Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize