apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize