You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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