All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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