Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize