dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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