So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize