It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize