summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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