Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
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I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
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Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
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