i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
So much rum. So many feels.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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