the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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