Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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