My first STD was from a foam party
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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