Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
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Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i just pee glitter
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
tell me about the eggs
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