70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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