smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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