I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
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