tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize