i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize