You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize