hell yes lets make some ravioli
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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