my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize