i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
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What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
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If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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