we have officially lost it.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
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The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
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How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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