How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
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So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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