Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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