I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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