what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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