The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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