We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
i've created a new STD.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize