My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
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Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
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And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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