this just has baby written all over it
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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